We communicate all day long—whether we’re talking or not. The words we choose matter, but so do our facial expressions, posture, tone, pace, and even the pauses between our words.
Understanding the three basic types of communication—verbal, nonverbal, and paraverbal—can help you become more aware of the messages you’re sending and more accurately understand the people around you.
Let’s look at each.
1. Verbal Communication
Verbal communication is the content of what we are talking about, the words that are spoken or written. Language is dynamic. The word “literally” now means both in actuality and figuratively.
2. Non-Verbal Communication
Non-verbals are the way we move and position our bodies. We are always sending messages about how we feel, what we think, and how we react to people based on our surroundings or a particular situation. We certainly can’t cover everything here, but consider yourself and your non-verbals in the following areas.
Eye Contact
Are we looking at a specific object, looking down, or looking steadily at our conversation partner? Are we shifting eyes from object to object or covering our eyes with hands?
Are we teary-eyed or “wide-eyed”
Skin
Do we look pale or are we blushing?
Posture
Our posture indicates alertness or tiredness. Are we “eager” and ready for activity? Is our body closed off by the crossing of legs, arms crossed in front, or the hanging of our head?
Facial Expressions
What can be conveyed by our stoic lack of expression? Is there a wrinkling of the forehead or nose, smiling, or biting of the lip?
Hand and Arm Gestures
These may be symbolic gestures, demonstrations of how something happened or its dimensions. Repetitive gestures may be nervous tics we don’t know we display.
Repetitive Behavior
In Joe Navarro’s book, What Every Body Is Saying, he encourages readers to take note of an individual’s norm. If they’re fidgety but stop fidgeting, something may be wrong. If they are usually well-poised, foot-tapping, finger-tapping, trembling, or playing with a button or hair could indicate discomfort.
Distance
I think of the close-talker on Seinfeld. Do you move away (or forward) when another person moves closer? Consider the other person’s need for personal space.
Position in the Room
Where we sit at a table during meetings matters. Do we move around the room, protecting ourselves by placing objects (e.g., a desk or table) between ourselves and the other person? What is our sitting position (in the center of the room, side by side)? Where do we sit for instruction? Do we prefer the back of the class or front and center?
Clothing
Are we neat or untidy? Casual or formal? Do we choose warm/cold colors?
Personal artifacts also communicate. The brand of our computer may indicate our level of creativity and tech knowledge. The color of our phone case, water bottle, or coffee mug may show our masculinity or femininity.
*You may also wish to read, Professional Presence Every Day.
3. Para-verbal Communication
Represents the way we speak. We send messages through the strength, tone, and color of our voice, and with the speed of our sentences.
Our listeners discern our mood and state through pauses in speech, trembling in our voice, its power, and our pace.
Communication Mediums
In internal communications, two primary media categories help us communicate with employees: physical and mechanical media.
Physical media includes anything we can see and hear. This category includes everything from large meetings to small, face-to-face communication. Even though we rely on technology, video conferences count too. Large meetings are best for delivering an important message to a large group at once. They are ideal for presenting strategy. Departmental meetings should regularly communicate daily operations, status reports, and problem-solving. Small groups and personal meetings are good for discussing specific projects.
Mechanical media may be written or electronic. They can be very fast, but are open to interpretation by the reader. Mechanical media include mail, newsletters, memos, intranet, magazines, text, sms, and social media. Email may be appropriate for daily communication. It is ideal for simple messages that have a low likelihood of misunderstanding. Email supplements other meetings and often reiterates decisions made in meetings. Individual letters are well suited for extraordinary achievements and recognition. Text messaging or sms is becoming increasingly popular in the workplace. Social media is being used to collaborate on projects, boost morale, and disseminate information. Some companies have private groups or pages for employee communication.
Choosing the Right Medium
First, know your desired outcome. Then choose the right media to achieve your objective.
Download this helpful matrix for choosing the right media.
Ready to Flex Your Communication?
Knowing the three types of communication is a good start. Using them well—especially when the conversation is difficult, the stakes are high, or the person you’re talking to communicates very differently than you do—is where things get interesting.
That’s why I wrote Flex Your Communication: 47 Tips for Every Day Success at Work. It’s a practical, no-nonsense guide to communicating more effectively at work, with short, stand-alone chapters you can use as needed.
You’ll learn how to read and use nonverbal communication, flex your communication style, give and receive feedback, say no, communicate across generations and cultures, persuade without pressure, manage conflict, and more.
