We ask questions to get to know people, understand problems, collaborate, clarify, and lead. Practice being conversational by having more conversations. Practice active listening and ask more questions. Some of these tips were inspired by the Harvard Business Review article How to Ask Better Questions by Judith Ross.
Get Comfortable With Silence
Many employees aren’t used to being asked questions. Their used to being told what to do. Our most introspective and insightful employees require more drawing out. Allow time for your conversation partner to volunteer information. Don’t feel obligated to fill dead air.
Open vs. Closed Questions
Closed questions are those which can be answered in a word or a few. Closed questions are effective to lead someone down the path to the right conclusion, when you’re dealing with a very talkative person, or to get a commitment out of someone who may be hard to pin down.
Open-ended questions, on the other hand, solicit deeper, more diverse responses. Use open questions to draw out thoughts and feelings. Allow your audience to choose how much to reveal about themselves, depending on their comfort level.
Some of the examples cited below are from the Art of Manliness.
Close-Ended Questions Look Like
Are?
Do?
Who?
When?
Where?
Which?
Open-Ended Questions Look Like
How?
Why?
In what way?
What was it like to…
What was the best part of…
What was the hardest part…
How did you feel about…
How did you know…
What brought you to…
What’s surprised you the most…
In what way is that similar/different from…
Why do you want…
Getting to Know You Questions
Avoid Cliché. Skip the, “How are you?” and “How was your weekend?” They’re more like trite greetings than invitations for a sincere response.
How do you spend most of your time?
What do you enjoy the most about your job?
What’s the most important thing to you about your company/your work/what you do?
What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this year?
What’s the most important thing I should know about you?
Why did you choose your profession?
What are you currently reading?
What are some things you’ve had to unlearn?
What is the best compliment you’ve received as a professional?
Questions Not to Ask
Leading questions in stressful situations will alert the defenses in your employees triggering their limbic freeze, flight, or fight responses. If you want candid answers don’t be too blunt. Avoid rapid-fire close-ended questions. That feels like an interrogation.
Don’t Ask:
Why are you behind schedule?
What’s the problem?
Who isn’t keeping up?
Don’t you know better?
You wanted to do it yourself, didn’t you?
Don’t you agree that John is the problem here?
*Also read One Question NOT to Ask at a Party
Don’t Be Too Open
Questions/statements like “Tell me about yourself” are too broad. (Am I on a job interview or a first date?) People don’t know how deep their response should be, especially if you haven’t shared anything. Introverted personality types may feel threatened by probing questions on a first meet. If you sense that you’ve made someone feel unsafe, step back. Say, “Allow me to rephrase that.” Move to a close-ended question, play word detective and slowly broadened out into open questions again.
Questions to Empower your Employees
Asking open ended questions fosters trust and heathy work relationships. To create clarity try asking, “Can you explain more about this situation?”
To help them think analytically and critically ask, “What are the consequences of going this route?”
To broaden their horizons, “Can that be done in any other way?”
Create accountability by asking, “Based on your experience, what do you suggest we do here?”
*Tip for Younger Managers
To honor the experience of those around you and show greater respect, don’t answer questions too quickly. Facilitate discussions first. When asked a question that others might be able to give input, say this, “Thank you for your question. I’m wondering what has been the experience of other managers. Have you encountered something similar? Why did it work or not work?”
You’ll come across as humble, not a know-it-all. You’re likely to find that their answers will be better than your own anyway!
Questions to Propel your Career
One of the best ways to move forward are to interview your professional idols. Ask the following of those who are where you’d like to be in five years.
Are you a member of any professional orders or associations? Which ones do you feel are the most important to belong to?
What advice would you have liked to have heard when you were starting out?
What book have you read or podcast have you listened to recently that helped you professionally?
As you think about the future of your business, what are you most excited about?
A powerful closing questions such as, “How can I help you right now?” is appropriate at almost any coffee, lunch, or networking event.
Questions to Ask your Boss
Here’s your primer: “I would like 15 minutes of your time this week to discuss my future. I am planning my big goals for the new year and I want to have a productive conversation with you.”
What role can you see for me this coming year that will allow me to leverage my talents and bring more value to the company?
How can I grow in this organization?
