What is It?
According to Cascadia Workshops:
“Empowered Communication (also known as Compassionate Communication, Nonviolent Communication™ or NVC) is a way of speaking that facilitates the flow of communication needed to exchange information and resolve differences peacefully. It helps us identify our shared values & needs, encourages us to use language that increases goodwill, and avoid language that contributes to resentment or lowers self-esteem.
Empowered Communication focuses our attention on compassion as our motivation, rather than fear, guilt, blame, or shame. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for our choices and improving the quality of our relationships as our goal. It is effective even when the other person or group is not familiar with this process.
Empowered Communication is based on the premises that:
- We are all simply trying to get our needs met.
- We fare better if we know how to get these needs met through cooperation rather than aggression.
- People naturally enjoy contributing to the well-being of others when they can do so willingly.
The intent of Empowered Communication is to:
- Create more satisfying personal connections.
- Meet our needs in ways that honor and respect our values and the values of others.
- Heal from previous experiences and relationships that have been painful or unsuccessful.
With Empowered Communication skills you can:
- Resolve feelings of anger, guilt, shame, fear, and frustration.
- Redirect anger or frustration toward coalition building and cooperative outcomes.
- Create solutions based on safety, mutual respect, and consensus.
- Meet basic individual, family, school, community, and societal needs in life-serving ways.”
Empowering Communication Phrases
My dad used to say, “Get it done.” It was a common call to action when he had no specific directive on how to do something. Other empowering phrases are “do as you see fit” and “make decisions you think need to be made.”
*You may also wish to read Words And Phrases That Inspire, Motivate, And Persuade At Work
Why Be Empowering?
Empowered employees don’t rely on policies and procedures for every minute detail of their work. They learn to develop their own powers of discernment. Employee results will be multiplied. Time will be saved.
Be empowering when you need to delegate. Empower when you don’t possess the bandwidth or desire to micromanage. Combined with the consultative leadership style, you’ll end up with committed employees to their goals, and an atmosphere of respect, and harmony.
Leaders who give employees a regular 10,000-foot view, will instill an executive mindset in their team. They’ll understand the main goals and why they’re doing what they do.
Leaders who observe the strengths of their teams, help employees reach their full potential. Work with unique interests and abilities. If you’re unsure of what they are, sit down with each team member. Ask, “What would help you grow professionally?”
When to use Empowering Communication
Circumstances may require employees to work with little direction. Other employees are passive and they’re afraid of displeasing their manager. To avoid pain they’ll ask a question at every turn.
Empowering communication builds independence and confidence. It may be the answer to building self-motivation and increasing ownership. Give employees a guideline. Reassure them that as long as they are within bounds, they can do what they think is best.
What areas of your workflow could use flexibility? What tasks are not your favorite or do? What do you struggle with? Is there someone on your team who could do it well? I felt honored to be asked to write ta company blog because I enjoy writing. I didn’t just view it as another task that needed to get done, but a privilege and increased responsibility.
This is important for children, too. I have some rules that empower my son. On rechauffe day I won’t tell him how long to microwave leftovers. If he asks, I say, “Until it’s hot.” A ten-year-old should be able to operate a microwave.
How to Be an Empowering Communicator
*Adapted from The 6 Key Secrets To Increasing Empowerment In Your Team by Joseph Folkman.
- Be open to all new ideas.
- Thank people for ideas. Seriously consider each.
- Build a trusting relationship. When you give authority, trust them. Don’t hover.
- Create a positive work environment.
- Invest in developing others. What skills or experience do they need to be empowered?
- Give team members the authority to make decisions.
- Reward employees who take risks. Appreciate on their terms.
Overcoming Barriers to Empowering Communication
One barrier is the words we use. Semantic barriers occur when our message is unclear. Avoid jargon or technical information that isn’t appropriate for the audience. Be a good listener. Ensure that your message has been received as intended. Be concise. Phrase change in a positive way. Handle objections or conflicts in a timely way.
Employees who lack confidence, communication skills or incentives will buck this change to empowering communication. Show your team that they are valued.
Metatalk, statements about how the conversation is going may help. If you’re touching a sensitive spot or the other person is emotional, say so. “I know this is a heavy conversation for a Friday afternoon, but I appreciate your honesty.” Expressions like this show that you are listening at a deep level.
Extant policies may impede empowerment. Question communication protocols between levels of staff.
Make or suggest creating neutral places for communication. Set the example by having open door times, slots in your schedule strictly for drop-ins. (Of course, we’d like to be available 24/7, but that’s unrealistic.)
