Because our favorite people are interesting. Because Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
1. Be a Word Detective
The best conversationalists don’t do all the talking. They ask the right questions.
In her book, How to Talk to Anyone; 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, Leil Lowndes shows how to resuscitate a dying conversation by being a Word Detective. Listen to your conversation partner’s every word. Catch clues to his or her preferred topic, evidence will slip out. Springboard off the subject that’s really on their mind.
Here is an example from Leil’s book (paraphrasing). You’re having a conversation with a cantankerous older woman who can’t seem to enjoy any subject. You comment on how lovely the weather is and ask if the woman is relieved by the break in the rain. The old grouch retorts that the rain is good for the plants. As a good word detective, you won’t give up in frustration. You’d notice the word “plants” and ask about gardening. If the woman had said her dog didn’t want to go out in the rain, a good detective would ask about her dog.
2. Have more Experiences
Don’t let fear of failure or any other fear stop you from trying new things. You’ll never know when you’ll find your new favorite hobby or who you might meet. Trying something new even once will allow you to contribute intelligently to a conversation. Challenge yourself to say yes more often.
3. Get that Cup of Coffee
When I was new in my business there were professionals who already were where I wanted to be. I came across them in local and regional business publications, in print, and online. When I gained the courage to ask for meetings, none said no!
Connecting firsthand with someone who has already figured it out is one of my favorite ways to learn. Experts are motivating and reassuring. A mentor can boil things down into a concise and easy takeaway. Most successful businesspeople are more than willing to pass on their wisdom. But be persistent, they’re often very busy.
4. Learn Something New Every Day
Learning begets learning. Learning a new skill helps you learn faster by stimulating neurons in the brain. More neural pathways are formed and electrical impulses travel faster. The more pathways that are formed, the faster impulses travel.
My grandmother told me to learn something new every day. I told this to a 7-year-old friend, every time I see him he asks me what I learned. I regale him with animal facts. A peregrine falcons can reach speeds of 140 miles per hour when they dive. There are 300,000 species of beetle.
Challenge your assumptions about your own skills and interests. Explore something entirely different and keep in mind that it could benefit others.
5. Read More
In the last year, 24 percent of American adults did not read a book. Not one. My grandmother would be ashamed!
Unlike social media and news articles, sitting down with a book requires lengthier focus and concentration. Being fully engaged in a book separates you from the rest of the world. In time, such concentration may lengthen your attention span. It will increase your vocabulary, stave off dementia, and make you unendingly interesting.
